my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
