I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
