There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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