every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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