time to smoke my breakfast
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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