Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
