I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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