Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
