youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
