I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
