Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
