don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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