addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
