He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
