Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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