Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ketchup is God's man juice
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
