You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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