aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
