i will never coherently bang her
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
