Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
