If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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