I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
