just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
