We're facebook friends in real life
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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