He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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