I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
