You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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