mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
