Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We named our party play list daddy issues
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
