Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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