Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
