the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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