If that was your dad, he is hot
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
