So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
