Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
