I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
