Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
