i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
