Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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