Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
