Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
