yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
