Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
