these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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