how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
