everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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