I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
