I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
