I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
