Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
