you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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