i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
