ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
